During my time in National Service, I was blessed to be given the role of a frontline police officer, as I had a great deal of different experiences that neither reading books nor education in school could have given me. Resolving interpersonal conflicts is part and parcel of a patrol officer’s day to day job. Disputes between neighbours, friends, families or husbands and wives are some of the cases that I had attended to.
Usually, I have a senior with me who would take charge of whatever case that we had to respond to. However, on one occasion, it was the first time I had to put my best foot forward to lead a case of dispute between a husband and wife. My senior partner had a problem calming down the situation, as the neighbours had complain about the noise generated in the early morning by a Malay couple.
The heated argument between the couple was overwhelming, as I soon found out that it was very difficult for us to intervene. However, I took over from my Chinese senior partner in terms of talking to them in a prudent and conscientious manner in Malay. I took my time to listen to their problems one by one, and made them understand that even though I have no right to interfere in their marital problems, I would want to keep the peace at the vicinity. I was tolerant and understanding yet firm in enforcing the law and order.
We ended up resolving the situation where they agreed to talk things sensibly throughout the night. Sometimes I feel that in resolving interpersonal conflicts, people will react differently to different situations. During my short time span of being a police officer, I realise that sometimes speaking to another person in their language brings about a sense of similarity and togetherness that can solve a conflict. Small misunderstandings can lead to a huge disaster if not handled well. In that matter, the essence of effective communication skills is important.
What would be something different that you would do if you happen to be in the same situation as myself?
After reading your post, I agree that conversing with other people in a common language brings deeping understanding and some 'connection' that allows conflict solving. This is definitely not a skill that can be learnt from school. Same goes to speaking to grandparents or any aged person... they tend to listen more when someone speaks in a familiar tongue; and also has a lower tendency of misinterpretation. Good read!
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a very basic sub-skill in effective communication- speaking in a language that two parties are comfortable in. But in the event that we can't learn many different languages, taking a trusted friend or colleague along who does is also a good idea- just like what Nuri did.
ReplyDelete